Tooth, Line and Sinker*
What’s yours is mine, I think we know.
Your water, ice, your land, your snow,
Your mountains full of iron ore,
So rich it makes my small heart sore.
Pyrite, Schmyrite, I don’t care,
We want it all, not just a share.
Sulfuric acid does sound bad,
But change your rice, and don’t be mad;
Ignore those hairy doomsday guys,
They spout old-fashioned science lies.
Mercury, Arsenic, Selenium,
Hey! Whitney, Janet, Celine Dion!
On Dancer, on Prancer, on any old gal,
Giving Pie-eyed senators higher morale,
Whatever it takes to seal the deal,
To look like they gave, and that we did not steal.
Like uncles we come, with candy for babies.
You Democrats treat us like coon dogs with rabies.
You stand in the way of our personal gain,
Like scaredy-cat kids fearing our acid rain.
Relax; it goes east! And Superior’s cold;
No one will swim there, or drink, and, behold:
You want JOBS! Did you hear me? That beautiful word!
That gorgeous, deliciously whispered, (and slurred) word!
Oh, JOBS, JOBS, JOBS, JOBS, JOBS,It’s just what we offer
(while rivers dry up and gold bars fill our coffers).
Don’t think twice about those alternative bills;
Those standards, those Natives, unfortunate spills…
Just trust us. We look good. We dress up in suits.
(Your people are simple, so dull, so grassroots).
Now hurry up! Fall for it, tooth, line, and sinker,
(You fools will become poisoned well-water drinkers!
But, YOU DON’T KNOW THAT. Your state’s without clue,
About crimes toward humanity we’ve planned for you.)
Now, what did I say when I started this letter?
What’s yours is my own, and the sooner the better!
Your senators and your assemblymen, too,
Your outdated treaties, your governor, (Ewwwww).
Just hand it all over. Come to Papa Gogebic,
Before you discover how terribly tragic
The great fall will be from sweet pristine waters,
From tall pines, manomin, and well sons and daughters.
Sign on and work with us; we’ll look after you
As we carve up your state and bid life as you know it,
Life as you knew it, life as you wish it, the life that you long for,
*This phrase was uttered by Rep. Joel Kleefisch (R-Oconomowoc) on January 26, 2012 during the Assembly debate on AB 426, the mining bill which is the subject of this poem.